A Weekend of Fun!
by twilightfan201
Summary: The Cullens and Bella have a prank weekend! Alice's clothes are in shreds, Carlisle's library burnt to ashes, and the Union flag painted on Jasper's ceiling! More chapters to come soon! NOW FINISHED!
1. The beginning

"FAMILY MEETING," yelled Esme as loud as she could, totally unnecessary since all of her children could hear her perfectly fine if she whispered. Well, everybody except Bella, and Edward would tell her anyways. Half a second later and all six of her adopted children were in the living room, all except Edward and Alice demanding to know what was going on.

Esme announced, " Carlisle and I have decided that the pranks you pull on each other has gotten a bit out of hand. So we have are taking action and are allowing you a prank weekend." "YES" exclaimed Emmett, only to immediately shut up at seeing Esme's face. Acting as if no one had spoken, Esme continued, " You will have all weekend, from midnight Friday to midnight Sunday to pull your pranks. Remember that Bella is human, so be careful with her. No burying her alive, tying her to a boulder and throwing her in the ocean, etc." "She better come back in one piece or else," snarled Edward. Bella just trembled, but put on a brave face and said, "Continue, please". "Well," Esme replied, " please keep your spending to under 500,000 dollars -ALICE- and after this is all over we will replace everything that has been damaged."

Bella still seemed remarkably calm after all of this, although Jasper uncharacteristically had slung his arm around her shoulders. Emmett boomed, " These are soooooo much fun, Bella! You have nothing to worry about!" After receiving another glare from Edward, he added "I promise to not lock you in a closet and forget about you or anything." "Yeah," chimed in Rosalie, " you have no reason to worry!". Now Bella looked terrified and seemed to be affecting Jasper. He looked like he wanted to go hide underneath the covers on his bed. Alice started laughing, and through her giggles, said, "Bella, I promise it'll be okay. Edward would kill all of us if anything hurt you. Now please stop scaring my husband before he screams like a little girl."

Bella seemed better after these reassurances, but Jasper still moved to the opposite side of the room. "Sorry Jasper," she mumbled, "I didn't mean to affect you like that." Recovered from his terror, Jasper grinned. "It's okay, Bella. No biggie."

And with that Esme pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. "It's 11:58 right now," she said, "two more minutes and the games will begin." Everybody watched the clock as the seconds ticked by. Finally, the clock hit 12 and everybody rushed up to their rooms to start thinking of pranks. Edward picked up Bella bridal-style and ran her up to his room.

As he gently set her down, Edward asked, "So, who should be prank first, love?" "Well," Bella replied, " I was thinking we could start with Alice. Maybe cutting up all of her clothes?" "Perfect," exclaimed Edward, "but what if she sees that?" Bella said hesitantly, "I was thinking…um….maybe we could…um…..call Jacob and….ask him to be involved?" A dark look flashed across Edward's face, but it was quickly gone. "Fine, call Jacob" he sighed, "but how is he help us cut her clothes? There are way too many clothes to just haul over to the border line." " Well, as long as we are talking to him on your cell phone while we are actually cutting the clothes, Alice won't see right?" Bella asked. Edward conceded that this was right and with that he called up Jacob and let Bella talk to him at first. As soon as he answered, Alice's scream echoed through the house, "BELLA! What are you doing?! I can't see anything! That dog better not be involved!"


	2. Tricking Alice

**Hi-**

**First of all, I would like to say thanks to sheeiur22 for being my FIRST ever review. As this is my first fanfic, I am still trying to figure how to download all the documents and everything, which is why I didn't have any notes on the first chapter. So please be patient with me! I will try to update at least 2 or more times a week, but there are no guarantees. The usual excuses- school, music, sports, etc. but it's true! Also, please send in any ideas you have for pranks. I am trying to make this as fresh and new as possible. I am also looking for a beta reader. If anyone's interested, just PM me. Thanks and enjoy the next chapter!**

**Oh yeah, if Jasper and Rosalie seem a little OOC, I meant for them to be like that. Jasper will be more outgoing and comfortable around Bella and Rosalie will be nicer to her. Other than that, I tried to keep them all in character. **

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BPOV

This is so totally awesome! Finally, a chance to get back at Alice for all those times she drug me shopping and made me Bella Barbie. So Edward and I snuck (very quietly, I may add) down the hall to her room and through the closet doors, shutting them gently behind us.

"Where should we start?" I asked Edward as I held the cell phone with Jacob on the other end to my ear.

"Let's start with this top rack and work our way around." he replied.

So we worked our way around the room-sized closet, it took me a few minutes to do what Edward could get done in seconds.

Finally we came to the end, but now there was the issue of all of her shoes. In the end we decided to cut all of the straps possible, and Edward would snap the flats in half and the heels off of her higher shoes. In a few minutes we were done and Edward ran me up to his room, being very careful of any possible booby traps. We didn't make it totally unscathed, though, as a water balloon full of pink paint exploded from a chandelier and hit me in the head. So now my head was pink, but whatever.

APOV

Hmm…..who to prank, who to prank? I had banished Jasper elsewhere to give me room to think. A few minutes I had ran into the woods to brainstorm in peace so Edward couldn't hear me when my visions went blank. I just KNEW those mutts were involved. Bella better have not had anything to do with it. She can have a very evil little mind when she wants to.

At that particular moment I heard Edward running toward me with Bella on his back. I quickly scaled a nearby tree to ward off any possible attacks when they came into view. Edward set Bella down and put up his hands, saying, "Alice, we come in peace, I swear." I shimmied down the tree and landed gracefully on my feet, looking at them suspiciously.

I asked " Bella, what did you do? All my visions disappeared a few minutes ago and they just came back."

She looked me straight in the eye and said, " I didn't do anything, Alice. Why would I do anything to my favorite sister?" She couldn't be lying, otherwise she would be blushing and stammering. I decided that she must be telling the truth, that Emmett must have done it or something, so I let it go.

Edward said, " What do you think of a little sweet revenge on our dear sister Rosalie?"

"Great," I grinned, "What should we do?"

Bella spoke up, " I was thinking we replace all of her hair products with gray hair dye of some form. She can't go two hours with out refixing her hair."

We all agreed that should be the plan and set off the to house.

BPOV (again)

I will have to remember to thank Emmett for teaching me how to lie. All you have to do is convince yourself it was for the greater good (whatever you did) and look the person in the eye and say it calmly and coolly. And as long as I don't blush, everybody will think I'm telling the truth because I suck at lying. Alice totally fell for that one. Bwhahahahahaha.

We headed off to the house and collected the grey hair dye from under Alice's bed. I didn't even want to know what else she had under there. She had gels, sprays, shampoos, the whole she-bang. We took it all and headed into Rosalie's bathroom. We dumped every single hair product into the toilet and refilled it with the different dyes. Then we put every thing back where it was and took off. Man, Rosalie will kill us when she finds out what we did.

Edward filled a balloon with glue and stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for Rosalie to come by. When she did, he dropped it with perfect aim, like there was a bulls-eye on her head. Rosalie screamed and started cursing at us while we sped away, Alice carrying me in her arms. And we waiting in Edward's room for when Rosalie found our she had grey hair.


	3. Disclaimer

**Author's Note: I do not own Twilight. If I did, would I be writing this? No. **

**This applies to the first two chapters, so please don't sue me.**


	4. Paint, Flags, and Home Depot

**Special thanks to BellaCullen33 for helping me with ideas! I really appreciate them!**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Twilight? Of course not. So why would I?**

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RPOV

Great- I finally get to prank somebody without getting my BMV taken away. Who will be my first victim? Thinking…thinking…..got it! Jasper! I will make him pay for all the times he made me feel happy when I wanted to rip his head off and sent waves of lust to Emmett and me in public.

And I know exactly what I will do for payback. But first I need to find Emmett and Bella.

EMPOV

"Hey Emmett, want to help me prank Jasper?" Rosalie said quietly to me in the living room.

"Sure," I replied, surprised, "What do you want to do?"

"Well, first we need to find Bella. Do you know where she is?" she asked.

"Nope" I said, popping the P. "Why do we need to her?"

"You'll see," she said, smiling mysteriously.

Rosalie got up and walked off then to go find Bella. Just then a balloon dropped from the stairs. It hit her on top of her head and suddenly her head was full of glue. We heard Edward snicker and footsteps running away. " Damn it" Rosalie screeched, "Edward, you will die in than 7 days or less!" And she ran off to her bathroom to wash it out.

BPOV

We heard Rosalie scream as she discovered that her hair was now grey. Now she was cursing out "that evil little pixie who will die". I have to admit, it was pretty funny. Edward said, "Bella, I need to go destroy Emmett's Jeep. Will you be okay here? Nobody knows where you are" **(AN: I know they can smell her, but just go along with this! ****J****)**

I agreed reluctantly, and he slipped out the door. Not a full 10 seconds later, Rosalie came in.

"Bella, do you know who did this to my hair?" she asked.

I put on my calm and collected face and answered, "Alice told me she was going to do that to you. I tried to find you, but you weren't around. And once Alice sets her mind on something, you know it's going to happen."

Luckily for me, Rosalie seemed to believe it. She said, "Okay, well, do you want to help me and Emmett prank Jasper?"

I was taken back by this, since Rosalie never really asks me to spend time with her. She's not mean, just kinda distant. So, surprised as I was, I replied, "Sure, what are we going to do?"

She smiled an evil smile and simply said, "Let's go back and get Emmett and I'll tell you both."

RPOV

We found Emmett watching a football game, seemingly unaware of what was going around him. Men.

I cleared my throat and said, "Okay, here's what we are going to do to Jasper. We are going to break into Esme's paint supply and steal red, white and blue paint. Then we're going to sneak up to his study and paint the Union Flag on his ceiling. And since he still hasn't gotten over the Confederacy losing the Civil War, this is crush him!" I smiled evilly again.

Bella looked surprised I could be this evil, but said, "I'm in." Emmett agreed and we went off to find the paint.

EPOV

I took tons of glitter, feathers, and pink paint out to the garage and piled it in the back seat of Emmett's Jeep. I didn't want to do this in the garage and risk ruining my precious Volvo. So I drove it into the woods and got to work. First I painted the exterior hot pink and covered the bars with sequins and feathers. Then I got to work on the inside, replacing the seats with pink velvet upholstery. And finally I added a whole bunch of random bumper stickers to the back that said things like "Honk if you love pink", "Peace Out, Babe" and a bunch of other girly things.

I drove the Jeep back to the garage and went to find my next victim.

ESPOV

I was minding my own business, watering my flowers, when Jasper came up to me with his head bowed.

I asked, "Jasper, what's wrong?"

"Esme, I have some very bad news to tell you." he replied. Suddenly I felt a wave of fear sweep through my body.

He continued, "Unfortunately, Home Depot and Lowe's just announced today that they are going out of business immediately. I'm sorry." I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me and I was falling into a dark hole.

I fell to the ground and dry-sobbed. He comforted me and patted my back reassuringly. But strangely, every time he touched me, I just felt more grief. Finally, he said, "Let's get you inside to rest." He picked me up and carried me into my bedroom. He laid me gently on the bed and said,

"I'll go finish watering your flowers, okay? You just lay here and rest." Even through my grief, I felt a tiny bit of pride that I had raised my son to be a gentleman. He smoothed my hair back and walked quietly out of the room. I thought I heard him chuckle just a bit, but I must have been imagining things.

**AN: I also don't own Home Depot or Lowe's and they are still doing business, don't worry.**

**For those who may be confused, here's a list of the pranks that have gone on so far:**

**- Alice's clothes were cut up by Bella and Edward.**

**- Rosalie's hair was dyed grey by Alice, Bella, and Edward**

**- Emmett's Jeep was girlified by Edward**

**- The Union flag was painted on Jasper's ceiling by Rosalie, Emmett, and Bella.**

**- Esme was told and made to believe by Jasper that Home Depot and Lowe's closed. **

**Don't worry, Carlisle will make an appearance here, also. I'll try to update soon!**


	5. Kidnapping

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. sob**

**Enjoy this chapter! I have had the idea in my mind for a while.**

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BPOV

So after I had finished helping Rosalie and Emmett paint Jasper's ceiling I wandered downstairs to find something to eat in the kitchen. All this pranking was making me hungry.

As I came to the landing on the front stairs, I saw Emmett and Jasper arguing over something in the living room.

Emmett yelled, "You helped Edward destroy my Jeep! I know it was you!"

And Jasper yelled right back, " That is a lie! I didn't help Edward! And you know it!"

This was hilarious. If Jasper was this mad that Emmett accused of something he didn't do, think what he would say when he saw his ceiling. But I didn't really want to talk to them when they were fighting. So I instead quietly walked down the stairs and tiptoed across the living room. I knew they could hear, as well as smell, me, but I hoped they would be preoccupied with their argument that they wouldn't care if I was there. No such luck.

Jasper and Emmett stiffened when they realized I was in room and were suddenly silent. They shared a quick look full of meaning. Oh crap-I was in trouble. Suddenly Emmett was right in front of me and somebody I assumed was Jasper had pinned my arms behind my back with one hand and had clamped his other hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. Damn it.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Emmett said while grinning evilly. Jasper took his hand off my mouth when he was sure I wouldn't scream. I tried to struggle, but it was useless. Jasper's hands were stronger than iron and there was no way he was just going to let me go.

"What are you doing?!" I hissed through my teeth, "I haven't done anything to you!"

"Well, technically, you haven't done anything" answered Jasper "but Edward has. And you're his weakness." Crap crap crap. This was going to end badly, I just knew it. But I still kept struggling for no apparent reason other than to get away from them.

Jasper and Emmett shared another look over my head that I couldn't understand. All of the sudden I felt very weak and tired, and Jasper's arms were the only things that kept me from falling. But I realized what he was doing and tried to get away and thought of all the caffeine and sugar highs I had ever had combined into one while yelling. And pretended that was what I had right now, a mega sugar-caffeine high.

Jasper covered my mouth again to keep me from alerting someone, but I tried to keep yelling. Just as I almost convinced myself I was hyper and had pushed through the pool of lethargy, he hit me with a harder wave. Of course, since he was physically touching me, that made the emotion that much stronger. This wave was much more difficult to think through than the other one had been, and even though I tried to stay awake, I spiraled downward into the blackness. Jasper and Emmett would pay.

JPOV

Emmett and I were arguing over his Jeep in the living room when Bella came down the stairs. She was walking quietly across the room (for her) when Emmett gave me a glance that said, " Let's get her". So in a split second I had grabbed Bella's arms and covered her mouth with one hand. She started struggling, but she was no match for me. I could sense fear and panic steadily rising inside of her.

Emmett said something with a very unnerving evil grin. I took my hand off her mouth so she could speak because I could sense defeat from her. She replied in a panicked tone and I didn't even try to calm her. Emmett gave me another glance and I sent Bella waves of lethargy. She became limp and my arms were the only things holding her up. But suddenly I sensed determination coming off her in waves and she straightened up. She began to yell, but I quickly covered her mouth again. She tried to squirm, but my arms still kept her from moving.

I was impressed. I had never seen a human fight the emotions I sent them and almost win. But I sent her a stronger wave, and she was still tired and weak from the last wave. This time she slowly went limp and soon collapsed altogether. I held her up though, as Emmett just grinned like an idiot.

"What do you want to do with her?" I asked. "She put up a good fight, for a human, when I tried to subdue her."

"Well," he replied, "We just can't leave her like this. We have to hide her before Edward finds out."

"What about just tying her up in the basement and let her wake up? Then when she revives we can figure out who pranked who. She would know" I said.

For some reason Emmett looked nervous, but I dismissed without a second thought. "Okay", he agreed.

I picked Bella up in my arms and we headed downstairs. There was a small cot in one of the rooms and I laid her on it, then took a chain and chained her wrists to a hook on the wall. I then said, "I need to get some stuff from my study. When I get back, I'll wake her up". Now Emmett looked like he would be sweating bullets if he could, but just said "Okay" again.

I ran up the stairs and into my study. I grabbed a flashlight and some papers. As I reached for the door to head back downstairs, I noticed that the glow in the room seemed different than usual. I looked up and my unbeating heart sunk in my chest. A Union flag was on my ceiling! It's blasphemy! Who defiled my study?

I answered my own question subconsciously. Emmett. He seemed nervous when I headed up here. Well, Bella would wake up and tell me, and then Emmett would need to be running for his life. I was so shocked I was almost rational. Emmett really was going to get it this time. This thought calmed me down and I squared my shoulders and ran down the stairs.

CPOV

My children are so immature sometimes. I really hoped they would leave my study alone this time around, but I knew that was one thing that was never going to happen. Kinda like Edward changing Bella without her or anyone else forcing him to.

I wonder where Esme was. The kids better not have done anything to her. I walked into our bedroom, and there she was, laying on the bed, dry-sobbing. I flew to her side and picked her up in my arms.

"Esme, honey, what happened?" I asked her.

She stuttered, "H-H-Home D-D-D-Depot a-and L-L-Lowe's c-c-closed."

Surprised, I exclaimed, "No they didn't. Who told you that?"

"J-J-Jasper".

Of course. My emotion-controlling son with a twisted sense of humor. But this was beyond twisted and evil. He knew what this would do to my poor Esme.

"Honey, it's okay. I promise they are still open. Jasper was just tricking you." I said.

She sniffed, "R-R-Really?"

I smiled her favorite smile, " Really. Don't worry." She sat up and said, "Jasper better run."

Uh-oh. Esme when she was mad was actually rather frightening. Oh well. Jasper knew what he was getting into when he did that to her. He probably thought it was funny.

**A/N: Please review! And thanks to everybody who added this story to their Story Alert list. **


	6. Kidnapping Part II

**A/N: Two chapters in one day! I'm on a roll!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I own Twilight. In my dreams. But this is reality, so I don't own it now. Sadly.**

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BPOV

I woke up on an uncomfortable cot with a light shining in my eyes. I blinked a couple of times and tried to figure where I was, when all of my memories suddenly came back to me. Walking through the living room. Trying to escape from Jasper. Collapsing from the emotions he sent me. 

But where was I now? I had never seen this room before. I was laying on a cot with my wrists tied together with a metal chain that was then hooked to a spot on the wall. The light lit up a tiny area around me, but the rest was darkness. 

All of the sudden Emmett and Jasper stepped out of the darkness and Emmett flipped on a light bulb hanging from the ceiling and switched off the flashlight. 

"What the hell, guys" I growled, "Why am I chained to a wall?"

"Well," said Emmett hesitantly, "it all started when you came in the living room. Jasper held you still while he knocked you out and we took you down here."

"Bella," started Jasper in a strangely calm voice, "We have a favor to ask you. If you help us, we might let you go sooner."

I noticed that Jasper made no promises, but I figured that it couldn't hurt to help them. So I said, "What do you want to know?"

Emmett jumped in, "Who pranked who? Did Edward have help ruining my Jeep? Did Alice really dye Rosalie's hair gray by herself?"

Of course, Jasper was making me eager to tell them everything. This annoyed me to no end, considering he had just abused his gift to kidnap me. I replied, "I don't know anything about that. I was up in Edward's room the entire time." I used Emmett's lying trick again to make them believe me, but I'll thank him later for that. Now is definitely not the time. 

But Emmett just smirked. "Don't want to tell us anything, eh? Fine then. Jasper, would you make Bella a little more willing to tell us information?"

I quickly retorted, "Well, I was going to tell you anything I knew, but Jasper tried to rush me into it. Not to mention I am currently chained to a wall because of you two. And since I almost beat Jasper last time, don't think I won't try it again and win."

"But Bella, don't you want to know what I go through on a daily basis?" Jasper asked, rubbing his hands together evilly. Oh crap. Nice job, Bella. Now Jasper's going to emotionally torture you.

I decided I would take whatever came to me like a woman. And I knew Jasper wouldn't _really_ hurt me, since he would have to deal with Edward later. So I looked at him levelly with dignity and didn't say a word. The dignity thing was sorta hard to pull off since he was a good 3 feet above me, but I managed.

"Emmett, please gag Bella so she doesn't scream and alert Edward or anyone else" Jasper said, still staring me down. I stubbornly turned press my mouth into a hard line and prepared to fight Emmett to the death, but, as usual, I lost. He just held me by my ponytail and tied it around my mouth. Crap. What an idiot I am. Just asking for trouble.

When Emmett was safely out of the way, Jasper let loose. I went from happy to suicidal to angry to hyper to fighting to lethargic and all these other emotions within a second or two. I thrashed around on the cot, screaming, though unable to make a noise because of the gag in my mouth. What a smart person I am to take on two demented vampires while currently their prisoner. Yeah, reaaaaaal smart.

Finally, Jasper let up. I lay flat on my back, panting, exhausted from the 15 or so seconds of an emotional rollercoaster. I ripped the gag off, but Emmett replied, "Ready to tell us?" I shook my head no, and he swiftly tied it on again without me being able to even struggle.

And then the emotional rollercoaster started again. This time it went on for a good 30 seconds before Jasper let up.

He said, "Wow, Bella, you are one tough human. Even a vampire would have cracked under what I just sent you this last time. I'm impressed."

I just replied frostily, "Are you going to stop torturing me for information I obviously don't have?"

Predictably, Emmett smiled an evil, evil grin. "Nope. We know you have information about these pranks, especially since you painted Jasper's ceiling."

I exclaimed, " That was all your wife's idea! She just drug me into it! And you- you helped too!" One look at Jasper's face told me I should have kept my mouth shut and not taken Emmett's bait. Crap.

But Jasper just looked at me and said, "Tell me what else you know, Bella. I want the full story." And me being Captain Idiotic, claimed,

"That's all I know!"

"Must you always make life difficult, Bella?" Jasper sighed. In a flash he had my gag tied around my mouth again and I was suddenly cradled in his arms. Without warning, he let the emotions flow and stopped when I actually got a real scream out. They had been much worse this time because of the physical connection, and seemed much more overwhelming. Jasper set me down again and waited. Almost automatically, I told he everything I knew so he wouldn't do that again.

When I finished, he said, "Very good. But wouldn't it just have been easier to tell us that in the beginning?"

I sighed, because I knew he was right. "So are you guys gonna let me go now that I told you what you want to know?"

Emmett said unhappily, " Whatever. We really don't need you anymore that Jasper is gonna kill me. Thanks Bells. Love you too."

Jasper just laughed," Yeah, it's too much of pain to have to keep watching you. So you can go now. I'll take you back upstairs." He unchained my hands and picked me up, then flew up to the main level and we were back in the living room again. I immediately headed off to find Alice and Edward to tell them what just happened.

RPOV

I had just finished cutting up all of Alice's credit cards to get her back for my hair when Bella knocked on my door. I told her to come in, and she slowly walked in. She looked a little frazzled, and I immediately assumed she had been pranked. I asked her what happened, and she replied,

"Your husband and Jasper decided to kidnap me and try to get me to tell them what I knew."

Uh-oh. Jasper probably knows about the ceiling now. I asked, "Did you tell them?"

She said, "Yes, but please listen to me, Rose. Jasper made me unconscious and I work up in your basement. When I refused to tell them everything. Emmett-she said it like it was a dirty word- gagged me and Jasper sent me tons of different emotions in like 2 seconds. And then he did it again. When I slipped and blamed Emmett for the ceiling, Jasper got mad. But I wouldn't tell him anything else. So that time he actually picked me up and did that emotion-thing, and it was unbearable. I had to tell them, Rose, they would have tortured me more!" She sounded so pitiful I couldn't be mad at her.

Instead I gave Bella a hug and said, "I'm sure I couldn't have lasted as long as you did. Jasper would have found out anyway. Now let's go kick some vampire butt." We took off to go find Emmett and make him pay. Trust me, I have my ways.

EPOV

I hadn't seen Bella around in a while, but I figured she must have found something to do. After I finished Emmett's Jeep I took all of Carlisle's books out of his library (using vampire speed, of course) and built a bonfire with them. I watched it burn until I was satisfied nothing could be saved, and then doused it all out with water. That will teach Carlisle not to mess with my Volvo ever again. Bwahahahaha.

**Did you like it? I know I probably went a little overboard with the whole torture thing, but I wanted to make a point of how tough Bella is. I couldn't think of a better way to have the guys torture Bella in a way that didn't really leave a mark but still was effective. So I figured emotions are as good as anything. Next chapter I will have a prank of BellaCullen33's in there- I promise! I meant to get it in this chapter but then the whole hostage thing took up a lot of time. Next chapter will also have a lot of different characters and pranks! Thanks for reading and please review!**


	7. Colors of the rainbow

**A/N: Hi everyone! I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry that I haven't updated in over a week. I literally have not been home basically at all. I also apologize for the underline mess last chapter. I tried to fix it, but I only made it worse. Enjoy the chapter, and thanks to BellaCullen33 for the colors of the rainbow idea! (You'll see-just read!)**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. ( Or Skittles)**

**Carlisle POV**

I walked into my study to relax a little bit and read one of my books. All of these pranks did wear me out. Something seemed off, and I looked up and collapsed. All of my books were gone! Where were they? Who took them? My children. Of course. The spawn of the devil.

I walked over to the window and saw a dark plume of smoke rising from the ground. There was a rather large bonfire down there and Edward was watching it, grinning like the Cheshire cat. Oh, he will pay. I will avenge my books! Onward, fellow soldiers! (**Random, I know. I just felt like saying that.)**

RPOV

I slung Bella on my back (gently, of course) and we ran downstairs. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw Emmett and Jasper wrestling again. Honestly, I think that is all they do sometimes.

"Ahem", I coughed, " Emmett, you are dead. D-E-A-D."

He gulped. " But I didn't do anything!" he stuttered.

"Oh, so then why did Bella stumble in my room and tell me of the emotional torture you two did to her?" I shot back.

"Um….well….you see…….it wasn't our fault…." Jasper tried desperately to come up with something believable. You could practically see the gears in his mind working away.

Finally Emmett realized that it would be smart to run and ran through, yes through, the closed door. Esme won't be happy. Jasper was right on his heels.

But Emmett's moment of brightness ended and he resumed being dumb Emmett. He ran straight up to our bedroom. Idiot.

I didn't try to chase after Jasper because I knew I wouldn't be able to catch up to him with Bella on my back. But I did follow Emmett up to our room.

BPOV

Rosalie followed Emmett back upstairs. In her bedroom she sat me gently on her bed and said, "Stay there if you don't want to get hurt."

By this time Emmett had backed into a corner, cowering. Rosalie stood over him and started yelling. Man, she has a pair of lungs and she knows how to use them. Then she said, " You're not getting anything for a month."

Emmett looked like the world just ended, but could only manage a small squeak.

Then Rosalie pulled a package of Skittles out of her pocket and slowly ripped them open. Why the heck does she have Skittles? She doesn't even eat them. I will never understand vampires.

She poured some out into her hand and forced them into Emmett's mouth. Then she made him eat a couple more. Emmett turned greener and greener as she kept doing this. Finally, the package was empty. She released her death grip on him and he ran out of the room.

But we heard him start retching out in the hallway. We slowly walked out there and watched as Emmett literally puked the colors of the rainbow. Gross, but fascinating at the same time. Rose looked very calm.

She simply said, " You better get that cleaned up before Esme sees it."

APOV

I decided to go shopping for a little bit, but when I opened up my purse, all of my credit cards were shredded! I let out an ear-piercing shriek and dropped the purse. OH MY CARLISLE. Somebody was going to die.

I ran out into the hall and narrowly avoided running into Bella. I must have looked a mess because Bella, looking concerned, said, "Alice, are you all right?"

"NO I'm not okay! Somebody cut up all my credit cards!" I screeched. Bella took my arm and led me back in my room. She was being much too calm about this. She must know something about this. I let it go for now, but she will pay later. Just you wait.

JPOV

I ran for my life from Rosalie. About 2 minutes later, I stopped and looked around the forest. She must have not followed me.

I might not be able to ever return to the house again. Between Rose, Bella, Esme, Carlisle, and Edward, I was a dead man walking. But I might as well make use of my time. So I ran to the garage and found Carlisle's Mercedes.

I took a sledgehammer to it, breaking all the windows and denting it badly. I destroyed it as much as I could without making it undrivable. I even destroyed the interior. Bwahahhahahahaha. Now I really won't be able to ever go back to my family.

**A/N: Well, there you go. Sorry it's short, I have homework! Review, please!**


	8. Respect My Authority

**AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGH! I've let you guys down, I'm sorry. I honestly have tried to update, but basketball started this week and I had a big huge project due before the end of the quarter. So I promise to update at least once a week, more if I have time. Here you go, your next chapter! Oh, and BellaCullen33, your second idea (about the makeover) will probably be in the epilogue if I ever get this finished. I have a plan. ****J**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight. Or Skittles. Or Grand Theft Auto. Happy? You better be, my self-esteem just took a big hit admitting that.**

ESME POV

Now that I know that Home Depot is okay, I am seriously angry with Jasper. Here I thought I raised him to be a gentleman, and look what he does to his dear mother! 

I crept into his study. I could smell that he hadn't been in the house for a while, but I knew he would be back something. I replaced all of his Civil War paraphernalia with obviously fake replicas. Even a tiny child would have been able to tell the difference. Mwhahahahaha. That will teach Jasper to respect my authority. **(It cracks me up to think of Esme saying this. First person to tell me what this is off of gets virtual cupcakes!)**

EMPOV

Eating all those Skittles was disgusting. I love my wife, but sometimes she goes too far. I thought about getting revenge by destroying her closet, but I don't really have a death wish. The sad part is, I'm already technically dead. 

I looked at my watch. Damn, it's midnight **(on Saturday)** already. Only 24 more hours. Better make the most of it. But maybe I should go find my partner-in-crime, Jasper, now. He at least needs me for protection from Bella. She can be dangerous when she gets violent. 

_Flashback:_

_The entire family is sitting in the living room. Jasper and I are playing Grand Theft Auto, Edward and Bella are "cuddling", Rosalie is looking at herself in a mirror, Alice is paging through a catalog, and Carlisle and Esme are talking. I blow up a couple of things on the game. Bella looks up, interested by the sound effects. _

_She says, "I wanna play! Emmett, give me the controller!" Of course, I wouldn't give it to her. She repeatedly tells me to give it to her and I repeatedly refuse, until she is yelling at me. I say, "Yeesh, Bells, chill out. We're all sitting right here."_

_For some reason that makes her really mad. She jumps on my shoulders, but I don't move. Then she starts pulling my HAIR! That hurts really bad! So I dump her (gently, as usual) on the ground. Next thing I know, she has my controller and is playing the game. Jasper's just happy to be able to continue with the game._

_I sit back for a while to see how badly Bella does. To my surprise, she is actually beating Jazz, though it's close. Finally, I reach around her and tap the PAUSE button. As I try to take it back from her, she gets irritated __again._

_But she realizes it's useless to fight against my strength. So she turns and throws it at me. I'm not expecting this, and it hits my stomach and shatters. _**(Rock-hard abs! Hahahaha…)**_ God, she has an arm! She giggles and runs over to Edward, knowing he'll protect her. And as usual, he does._

_Meanwhile, without missing a beat, Jasper switches to single-player. But now I can't play with him, and he's sure not giving up his controller. Damn you, Bella._

_End Flashback_

So you see why I can't let Bella get mad at Jasper when nobody else is there with him? Knowing her, she'll somehow end up injuring him just because she's mad. If I learned one thing when she started hanging around, it's that you should never underestimate Bella, at least if you value your personal safety.

EPOV

After I get done burning Carlisle's library, I go find Bella. She is sitting with Rose in my bedroom, both of them laughing their heads off. I hear Rose's thoughts and start laughing, seeing Emmett puke the colors of the rainbow. But then, she blocks her thoughts and says,

"I doubt you have heard what Emmett and Jasper did to Bella?".

This stops me short. I try to stay calm, but I feel my anger growing. "What happened?' I asked. "Rose, you tell him" says Bella, "I'm too tired to repeat the whole story." As soon as I figure out what happened, I almost take off right then and there, even though I'm in the middle of a conversation.

Jasper did that to me once. It was awful. I was so mad at him, I could barely be in the same room with him for a week. The fact that he did that to fragile little Bella blows my mind. And EMMETT! The idiot. At least I got him back by destroying his jeep.

I say something to Bella and Rosalie, though I can't remember what exactly it was because I was so furious. Then I take off to find Emmett and Jasper.

EMPOV (again)

I was quietly talking to Jasper when Edward comes running up to us. He's so mad, steam would be coming out of his ears if it could. He must have heard about Bella.

"YES, I DID HEAR ABOUT BELLA AND WHAT YOU TWO DID TO HER!" Edward yelled as loud as he could. Then he went off about how cruel that was, and how breakable and fragile Bella was, and how she was completely innocent and what we did was uncalled for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fragile, innocent Bella, my ass. Did you SEE what she did to my controller? Now I can't play video games with Jasper till a new one comes from eBay!

Finally Edward lets up. Jasper looks like he's about to crack from the emotional strain. All of the sudden, he starts beating Jasper up, while yelling about what complete and utter morons we are. So of course, I jump in, and we wrestle on the forest floor for a while.

But I'm stronger than both of them and Jasper has his "military expertise", as he likes to call it. Soon we have Edward pinned up against a tree. With a grunt, he pulls himself free of our grip and dashes off into the forest, and we follow.

**Well, that's all for now! Please review and give me any ideas you may have, please!**

**Remember:**

**Reviews happy author**

**Happy authorfaster updates**

**Faster updateshappy reader**! **And virtual cupcakes for the 1****st**** person to guess were Esme's saying came from! It's really obvious, people. TTFN! Ta Ta For Now!**


	9. I Don't have a Death Wish

**A/N: I am very sorry about the whole underlining mess. When I realized what it did I tried to go back and fix it, but it just made the entire chapter underlined. Soooooo….. I just had to leave it like it was. As I mentioned in the last chapter, there's only 24 more hrs. till the prank weekend's over. I probably won't have a sequel to this, but I still have at least 6 or 7 chapters to go plus the epilogue! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I had this great dream last night: Stephenie Meyer came and told me that she was giving the Twilight characters to me! But then I woke up. And I don't own them any more. Sniff sniff.**

EPOV

Unfortunately for me, it was two against one and I wasn't going to win my fight against my brothers. So I took off, into the forest, them following. I soon outran them and circled back around to the house. I went upstairs and into my room.

There I found all of my Cds laying scattered on the floor, broken in half and cases shattered. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" I cried as I dropped to my knees. Who would do this to me? Alice? Carlisle? Rosalie? Who could be so cruel?

The world is out for me today. First, my precious Bella is tortured, and then all my Cds are ruined! I don't want to even go out to check if my Volvo's okay. I'm too scared it will be destroyed too.

As I lay on the ground curled up in the fetal position, Bella came in. She took in the mess on the ground and me on the floor. She said, "Oh my. I don't even want to know." and backed slowly out of the room again.

APOV

After I got done destroying Edward's Cds, I wandered into my room. Out of habit, I went to my closet to change my outfit. I mean, I had already been wearing this for like, 10 whole hours!! As I flung open the doors, I envisioned what I would wear.

But nothing could prepare me for this. All of my clothes were shredded and my shoes ruined as well. I was frozen in shock, unable to move. Finally I ran to my clothes, inspecting them. Someone had taken a scissors to each and every article of clothing and thoroughly ruined it.

My favorite blouse, those one-of-a-kind vintage skirts. And the heels on my shoes had all been snapped off! The nerve of some people. How will I go on without my beautiful clothing?

There's the answer: shopping! I ran to get my purse, and when I opened it up, I let out another scream. All of my credit cards had been chopped up! In all of the excitement with my clothing, I had completely forgotten about my credit cards. Dang.

Since I can't go shopping, I guess the only other thing I can do is exact revenge for my precious clothing. But I still don't know who did it. Oh well, no biggie. I'll just prank everyone and ask questions later. Bwhahahahahahaha.

BPOV

I wandered through the house, looking for someone to plot with. Edward was in his room, the remains of his CD collection on the ground, smashed. Alice was in her room, mourning her ruined clothing. I didn't know where anyone else was, though.

I was going up the stairs when Emmett appeared in front of me out of nowhere. My heart stopped and I exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!" But Emmett just laughed and said, "Nope, it's just Emmett."

I accused, "You could have given me a heart attack! Then Edward would have killed you, even with Jasper on your side!" He laughed sheepishly and asked me what I was doing.

I replied that I was trying to find someone to plot with. Of course, I looked like a bit of a mess. My hair was still pink, my hair rumpled and my clothing was torn. Emmett said, " Come on, let's find someone to prank!"

We went in his room and tried to find someone to get back at. Alice and Edward were basically out of commision right now, so that left Jasper, Esme, Rosalie, and Carlisle.

Emmett refused to prank Rosalie because, and I quote, "I don't have a death wish." We talked a while longer, and finally decided to target Jasper. He apparently still didn't know that Emmett was responsible for his study ceiling. And I still need to get Jasper back for his little emotional torture stunt.

In the end, we just decided to plant evidence that Jasper ruined Alice's clothes. She would probably believe it, in her frazzled state, and it would be a hundred times funnier to watch. So we put our heads together (not that Emmett was a big help) and came up with some fool-proof ways to incriminate him.

ESME POV

After I finished hiding all of Jasper's Civil War paraphernalia under my bed, I went to the kitchen to think for a bit. Hmmm…. Who to prank, who to prank? Emmett! My loveable teddy bear of a son who needs thinks he's invincible.

But what should I do to him? My very reliable sources cough…Carlisle…cough tell me that Edward already destroyed his Jeep. I definitely can't beat him up, he's like 5 times stronger than me!

Rosalie probably won't help me think that she's breaking up with him or something. His game controller is broken. We have at least 5 T.V.s, so even if I did break one, he would have 4 more to choose from! I'll have to keep thinking about this one. Hmmmmmmmmmmm…….

**A/N: Well that's it for Chapter 8! What did you think? I need help on what Esme should do to Emmett. Please please PLEASE help me! If I get some good reviews and ideas then I can update later today again! See ya!**


	10. Author's Note I'm Sorry, I really am

Hey everybody-

I know you hate these Author's Notes. But my laptop battery quit earlier today and I can't get my charger cord to charge it, so I'm going to have to get a new one, hopefully tomorrow. But the chapter I was about finished with was on there. So until I can get it to turn on again, I won't be updating. But I hope to get it up tomorrow! Thanks for waiting!


	11. Kellie's really Hot, I swear!

**A/N: Hey everybody! Thanks for the awesome reviews! I'm gonna try to update a bunch these next couple days, I have a long weekend!**

**I haven't gotten around to Pming everybody who sent me ideas, so if you reviewed this last chapter, check here:**

**Sheeiur22: I know, wouldn't it be funny? I don't know if Rose would agree to it, though.**

**VampireCat: Pure genius! I might use that, I would have never thought of it on my own! Thanks!**

**Taylor n' Taylor: Thanks. You're too kind. :)**

**Tina101- Yeah, I know Esme's OOC. Let's just say Jasper's little trick unhinged her a bit. Lol**

**lakepup: that's awesome! It made me burst out laughing when I read it! I can totally picture that, Emmett being surrounded by gay guys. ( I have nothing against gay people! Honest! It's just Emmett is very straight.)**

**I Am Switzerland101- I'm getting there. Don't rush me. :)**

**gracethebestvampire: somehow, I can see Bella doing that. Thanks for the idea!**

**And sorry to anyone who was grieving about the books and CDs, I promise it'll be okay. Maybe there is a book and CD heaven, I don't know people! :)**

**Okay, so here this chapter goes. I am warning you right now, I'm gonna kinda make this up as I type along. If I didn't use your idea, please don't kill me. But if I do everything to Emmett, then nobody else gets pranked! Anyways, on with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Twilight. Maybe I'll ask Santa for it for Christmas.**

ESME POV:

I had decided what I would do, after much thinking. But this involves an inside joke, so I'll have to explain it to Bella so she'll get it.

You see, about 20 years ago Carlisle made a rule that we would not drink from any animals that were on the endangered species list. After much grumbling and complaining, the kids got in the habit of only drinking from certain animals.

We always joked that if grizzly bears went on the list, Emmett would die (figuratively, of course). They're his favorite and the only thing more precious to him is Rosalie and his Xbox. He would die for Rose, and he would probably die for his Xbox, too.

So I'm going to print a fake list of endangered species up with grizzly bears on it and give it to Emmett with Carlisle. Carlisle's the only one that Emmett's truly afraid of. Well, him and Bella.

I went to the computer and pulled up the list of endangered species. I copied and pasted it and added my little addition, then went to find Carlisle.

APOV

Phase 1: Find somebody to prank. I had just got done ruining Edward's CDs, so I wouldn't target him again. I decided on Rosalie. She needed to be brought back down to earth from her little make-believe world.

Phase 1: Complete.

Phase 2: Brainstorm prank ideas. Hmmm...how about starting off by ruining HER closet? Then the only girl's closets still intact would be Esme's and Bella's, and right now mine, even in it's ruined state, looks better than Bella's on its good day. And I love (okay, okay, fear) Esme too much to do anything to her closet.

So I went and did the exact same thing that somebody had did to my closet to Rosalie's. Then I went to find some of those charming home videos.

Phase 2: Complete.

Phase 3: I went and plugged in the video camera with an old home video in it to my computer. Then I got to work cutting Emmett's own words. **( I have no clue how you actually do this, so don't quote me on this one!)** When I was all done I slipped downstairs and extremely luckily, saw Rose sitting on the couch looking into a mirror.

I picked up a magazine at random and bounced over to her.

"Hey, hey Rose! Do you want to see something cool? Look at this, isn't this awesome?" I babbled on as I flopped on the couch next to her. I opened up to a page and pointed at something I had no idea what it was, yakking all the time.

"Yeah, sure cool." Rose said as she sat there, "Now could you leave? I'm kinda busy here."

"Sure thing" I replied cheerfully and left the room, triumphant. I had Rose's cell phone in my pocket and this just might work.

Phase 3: Complete.

Phase 4: Finish what I had started. I switched around Rosalie's caller ids and ring tones, then crept back downstairs. I grabbed _another_ random magazine and did my little routine again.

Rose told me to leave her alone _again_ so I slipped her phone back in her pocket and ran back upstairs. I hid at the top of the stairs, where I could see her but she couldn't see me, and called her from my phone.

"I Hate Everything about You" started playing from the living room. I heard Rose mumble, "Hm. Emmett. Wonder what he wants." before she flipped it open.

As soon as she did, and I heard her voice come through my phone, I started the tape recorder. Emmett's voice said,

"Rose, it's me. Listen, I have to tell you something. There's this other girl, Kellie. She's just so _hot_, and I think I love her, Rose, I really do. So I just called to tell you it's over between us. I'm just not feeling any sparks. See ya around."

I turned off the tape recorder and closed my phone, satisfied I had done my job. I peeked around the wall and saw Rose sitting on the couch, still holding her phone in her hand. She was paler than usual and seemed to be completely frozen from shock.

I bounced down the stairs and flopped on the couch like nothing was wrong, that Rosalie always sat like that. I asked her, "What's wrong?" She replied, "I don't know...." as if she really hadn't heard me.

Phase 4: Complete.

RPOV

So I was sitting on the couch, admiring my beautiful face, when Alice came dancing down the stairs looking like one of those people on the Diet Pepsi Max commercial after they've drank the Pepsi.

I felt like I should start playing "What is Love" but I decided against it. Alice had a magazine in her hand and was babbling about something or another. She showed me something that I didn't even look at, I just told her to go away.

She ran off and I returned to gazing at my breath-taking self for a while. Then she came _back_ down with a different magazine and started talking rapidly like before. Getting really annoyed, I told her to get lost again. She smirked and left.

I had just gotten settled again when my phone rang. It was Emmett. I flipped it open and he started talking right away about how he had met some hot girl named Kellie and there wasn't any spark between us anymore and how he was leaving.

He didn't even let me say anything. He just hung up. I sat there with the phone open, numb. This couldn't be happening. THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING. I was the hottest girl Emmett had ever met and I knew it.

What had gone wrong? My mind was in a haze when Alice came bouncing down the stairs and asked something. I don't even know what I said. I barely heard her.

**A/N: Okay there you have it! I feel like I owe you guys an explanation. I am so sorry. This chapter was almost finished on my laptop when my charger shorted out. I had to use a different computer this last week and I didn't want to re-start this chapter because it was almost done.**

**So I just waited until I got a new charger and finished it right away. I also know that I said that Emmett would be pranked in this chapter, but the whole Alice/Rosalie thing really took over this chapter. Plus, I wanted to get this done so you would have something new to read.**

**Please bear with me, and I will try to update Wednesday or something. Keep the reviews coming! You guys are too kind!**

**P.S. I don't own any songs, the Diet Pepsi Max commercial, or anything else I talked about that's copyrighted. It's not mine. Tu comprende?**


	12. Water Balloons and some Romance

**A/N: OK, I'm a failure. I kept meaning to update this week and I never actually got around to it. Lol. But here's the next chapter-enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I don't even own a copy. * sniff sniff ***

EPOV

Finally, I pulled myself off the floor and stopped sobbing. Sad Edward was gone, but Revenge Edward was here. Bwhahahahahahaha. I started listening to everyone's thoughts in the house to see what they were doing...

Esme: "Hahahaha. I will get revenge! This list will definitely work!" Ok, what is the vampire I respect as my mother doing? I don't think I want to know.

Carlisle: "My books, my precious books" Uh, yeah, I don't know ANYTHING about that.

Emmett: "Ha! Take that Luigi! Mario can kick your butt!"

Rosalie: "I am the hottest person there is! How can Emmett just abandon me? And WHO IS KELLIE?!?!?" I bet Alice had something to do with that.

Jasper: "I really hope that Carlisle doesn't see his car for a while...." Looks like somebody's in trou-ble. Oooooh.

Bella: "................" damn. Still can't hear her.

Alice: "Great, now I feel bad about what I did to Rosalie. But I sill think Edward deserved to have his CD's destroyed. What- EDWARD ARE YOU LISTENING? GET OUT!!!! You're hot then you're cold. you're yes than you're no, you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down..." Ugh, I hate that song. Wait....

WHAT?!?!?!? Alice did this to me? How could she?

I mean, sure, I can see Emmett doing something like that. But not Alice. So it's time for a little sweet revenge.

I already destroyed her closet and I bet somebody has gotten to her Porsche. But I still have those old pictures that I'm sure the world would love to see....

Like that one of Alice in a polyester jumpsuit.

Or the one of her fake eighty's hair and bell-bottom pants.

Hell yeah, I know how to get revenge.

BPOV

So everybody forgot about the poor little human. Apparently I wasn't cool enough for them.

So I decided for a little payback. I would pull pranks so obviously human and simple that they probably wouldn't even notice them until it hit.

I started in with the usual. Buckets of water on top of slightly-ajar doors, water balloons, the wire above Alice's and Rosalie's head but short enough to trip the boys, etc.

I bet that these vampires, even with their super-senses, wouldn't notice this simply because they wouldn't expect anybody to stoop that low.

I finished my pranks and sat back to watch the show.

RPOV **(here comes the good part!)**

Sobbing, I ran off to find Emmett. It turned out he was in the forest, just running in circles. Men. As soon I got in the same clearing as him, I started screaming at him almost wordlessly.

He looked shocked, but it must be part of his act. "WHO IS KELLIE?" I screeched, "ALL THESE YEARS AND YOU JUST WALK OUT ON ME? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

If my voice got any more shrill, soon only the bats would be able to hear it. Emmett looked more confused than ever, but just said, "Who's Kellie? And why do you think I would walk out on you? I would never do that, sweetheart."

His words pierced through the haze in my brain. Wait, what? Emmett didn't know who Kellie was? Then who called me......

Emmett continued, "I have never met a Kellie in my life, certainly not one who's prettier than you, love. I wouldn't be able to live with out you, much less walk out with another woman."

I ran into his outstretched arms, sobbing. He held me close and rubbed my back, whispering comfortingly into my ear. When I had started to calm down a bit, I opened my mouth to speak, but started crying again.

He held me in his arms until I had finally cried myself dried, then asked me to explain what had happened.

I began, "I was sitting in the living room when my cell phone rang. The caller id said it was you. I answered it, and you started talking about how there was this really hot girl named Kellie, and there was no sparks between us anymore, and you were leaving me. It was awful."

With that, I began wailing again. Emmett comforted me and slowly but surely I calmed down.

He said softly, "I would never do that, never in eternity. You are my one and only, and I couldn't bear it if we are apart. You believe me, right? It was just a stupid prank."

"Of course I believe you. I love you." I murmured back.

We stayed in that embrace, saying nothing, for who knows how long. After what seemed like hours he groaned and said, "Why don't we go back to the house and make little Alice pay for what she did."

I gave my silent agreement by kissing him quickly on the lips. Then we ran back to the house, me matching him stride for stride.

**A/N: Awwwwwww.... it's kinda romantic, don't you think? I had fun writing the last part, it's the first time I'd ever done something like that. So now Emmett and Rosalie are on good terms, what about the rest of them? You'll just have to wait and see. =]**

**Oh yeah, I don't own Hot 'N Cold by Katy Perry or anything else that is copyrighted I mentioned in this chapter. **

**Also, please keep reviewing and give me some ideas, please! I really really really need them. I need ideas on how Emmett and Bella are going to incriminate Jasper for ruining Alice's clothes. Cause I'm drawing a blank! Thanks, and guys, let try to get to 95 reviews before the next chapter. Have fun at the Twilight movie!**

**J**


	13. It Wasn't Me!

**A/N: Hey guys! Well, we didn't get to 95 reviews but it's ok, no biggie! =] Special thanks to Waffle of Doom, who has been taking time out of her very busy schedule to help me with this. And thanks to everybody who has reviewed or put this on Favorites or Story Alert! It makes me feel loved. =P On with the show!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. But I did see the Twilight movie. Best movie I ever saw!**

**P.S. I also don't own any of the copyrighted items I mention in this chapter.**

Emmett POV

Rosalie and I ran back to the house. Thank god that whole Kellie thing blew over. I was really starting to get worried there.

Rosalie went in the porch door first, the one that goes into the living room, and I followed her. Bella was sitting on the couch, reading the latest edition of _People_.

Rose went over and sat next to Bella, flipping on the TV with the remote. I went to follow her, but something hit my face and I fell on my butt.

Bella erupted in laughter and even Rose looked like she was trying to hold back giggles. I got up and looked closely at seemingly thin air. Ah, there it was- a very thin wire stretched high enough the girls could walk under it but us boys would hit it.

"Bella" I growled menacingly. She stopped laughing and started backing toward the now-replaced kitchen door. I followed her, popping my knuckles. She slipped through the barely-ajar door, but I wasn't quite that thin.

I pushed the door open and was greeted by a bucket full of cold ice water. What the freaking hell is going on here? The wire I could stand, but this was getting annoying.

Bella, of course, was on the floor laughing. Alice and Edward had appeared and were rolling on the floor was well, completely hysterical. UGH. Why do I put up with my family?

So now I was drenched in ice-cold water and I had humiliated myself in front of my wife and little sister. And that same little sister was the one that had done it! What is the world coming to?!?!

EPOV

After I finished downloading those embarrassing pictures of Alice onto both MySpace and Facebook, I heard Emmett's thoughts and had to go downstairs.

It seemed that Bella had pulled some pranks on him that were so easy it wasn't even funny. And Emmett had fell for it. I shook my head.

I was greeted to the sight of a bucket of water falling on him and drenching him. This was almost as good as the time some guys decided to dump Gatorade on him.

Alice was already downstairs; she had had a vision of this and wasn't going to miss a single second of it. I was surprised that she didn't have some popcorn, even though she was filming it. At least, as well as a person rolling on the ground laughing could film.

EMPOV

Well, I know now never to piss Bella off. But she could be a very valuable weapon if we got together. So after the crowd dispensed I approached her.

"Look, I know I'm drenched in water and I just fell on my butt." I said, "but do you remember when we were plotting to incriminate Jasper of ruining Alice's closet?"

She merely nodded. I continued, "Well, I think we should carry out that plan. Besides, I heard that he just ruined most of the family cars and is considering never showing his face in this household again. So we should make his decision final for him."

Bella considered this. Slowly her face lit up in a smile. "I like this idea!" she said, giggling. "Let's go!"

BPOV

To start our mission, Emmett and I had a very loud, staged conversation in the living room about Alice's closet.

"Did you hear what happened to Alice's closet?" I asked, winking.

"No, what happened?" replied Emmett, grinning widely.

"Somebody snuck in there and ruined everything. Clothes shredded, shoes ruined, a big mess. Not one piece of clothing survived." I said.

"Wow! Who was it?"

"Well, I don't know for sure, but I think it was Jasper. Edward and I were busy, if you know what I mean, Carlisle was at work, Esme was gardening, Rosalie was in your guy's room, and you were outside. So it must have been Jasper."

"Surely not," replied Emmett, "Because Jasper knows that if he ever did that, Alice would make him go shopping to replace all of the clothes."

"I don't know," I sighed, "But he's the only one that could have done it."

With that we left the room and headed upstairs. Alice was calling Jasper on her cell phone outside to get better reception because no one was answering. She just didn't know that he was choosing not to answer, but he could hear it fine.

We crept into her closet and looked around. It was a disaster area-clothes strewn all over the floor and the shelves. Then Emmett took out of his pocket a small Confederate flag, about the size of a handkerchief.

Jasper always carried one of these around in his pocket to show his "undying love for the Confederacy". His words, not mine. He had explained this all to me once when I saw the flag and asked him about it.

He talked for about an hour about everything and anything to do with the Civil War. Finally Alice dragged me off to go shopping, saving me from boredom. I didn't ask again.

Emmett dropped the flag on the middle of the floor where it couldn't be missed. Then we ran out of the room before Alice caught us. Success!

JPOV

I was running through the forest when my phone rang. "I Kissed a Girl" started playing. Don't ask- it was Alice's idea. I ignored it, but it kept ringing. Even when it finally stopped, it started playing again.

Finally, I got so tired of "I Kissed a Girl" I had to answer my phone. Immediately I got an earful of something about how I ruined her closet and no sex for a year and rest assured, she would go shopping to replace her clothes and I would be accompanying her.

I almost for sure knew that Edward ruined her closet, not me. Why do I always get blamed for everything around here?

_Cause you do most of it_ my conscience whispered.

_Shut up! That's Emmett_ my other half said.

_Whatever you say, buckwheat_.

_This is why I'm the smart one here._

_Nuh-uh._

_Yep._

_No you're not._

_Yes I am._

_No you're not._

_Yes I am._

_No you're not._

_No you're not._

_Yes I am. _

_HAHAHA! Loser! _

It's not so scary when you are arguing with yourself, it's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If Edward and Emmett ever hear about it, I'll never live it down.

I might as well legally change my name to "Crazy Empath." What a life I have.

**A/N: What did you think? Review! Thanks! **


	14. Pianos and Shopping

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the best!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, its characters, or any copyrighted material.**

EPOV

I was upstairs in my room when I heard a very loud conversation in the living room. Emmett and Bella were apparently framing Jasper for destroying Alice's closet. I don't know why, but at least it got me out of trouble.

I heard Jasper come into my "range" as he ran in the forest. He was having some kind of argument with himself that consisted of "No you're not" and "Yes I am". I also picked up something about a psycho empath. Strange.

Alice came storming up the stairs, muttering under her breath about murdering useless husbands and burning the remains. I walked out in the hall and said, "What's the matter, Alice? Jasper do something?"

She had a half-crazed look in her eye and her hair was sticking out more than usual. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? HUH? HUH? HE DESTROYED MY CLOSET! MY OWN HUSBAND!"

"Woah, Alice, calm down" I said in a soothing voice "It's gonna be okay."

"NO IT'S NOT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS IN THERE? MY VINTAGE SKIRT FROM 1940! IT WAS MY FAVORITE! IT MADE ME LOOK _TALL!_" she screamed back as her voice broke.

Suddenly she was extremely calm and had the most frightening look I had ever seen on her face.

"Oh, Jasper will pay, yes he will pay" she said quietly, rubbing her hands together. I high-tailed it out of there.

RPOV

I was in my room listening to my iPod when I decided to go prank someone, anyone. This was boring, and I might not get this chance for a long time.

I decided to go talk to Carlisle. He usually stayed out of this, but Edward did burn his books. He might be looking for some revenge.

I found him in his office, searching on Ebay for books to replace his library. I sat down and explained my little plan.

Edward's CDs and Volvo had already been ruined. Bella had been emotionally tortured, and even I wasn't cruel enough to put her through anymore suffering. That left his piano. He had packed it away in a back room in the basement for the weekend, afraid of it getting hurt.

We decided to do things that weren't really noticable at first glance. That way he would be even more shocked when he found it didn't play. I cut all of the strings on the inside so it wouldn't play.

Carlisle broke the pedals almost off, but they were still barely hanging on. When Edward tried to press them down, they would fall off. I also glued the keys together so it was past repair.

This was so much fun! We should do it more often. Except Edward might attempt to kick me out of the family if I destroy two of his pianos. Oh well- he deserves it.

ESME POV

I finished my list and printed it off. Then I went to find Emmett.

He was sitting on the couch with Bella, both of them laughing their heads off at something. Bella had pink hair and Emmett was dripping wet.

I walked up to them and, turning my head so Emmett couldn't see, winked at Bella. Then I began my little act.

"Emmett, honey, I'm afraid I have some bad news. I found this on the Internet this afternoon." I handed him the paper and winked at Bella again.

As he read down the list, his face grew darker and darker. When he came to the grizzlys, he blew up.

"What the hell? What is wrong with this world? I'm changing this stupid rule right now!"

Esme said soothingly, "Emmett, it's ok. But think how disappointed Carlisle would be if you did this now. These animals deserve a chance to survive."

He seemed to consider this, and calmed down slightly, but stalked off.

We could hear him muttering, "Stupid grizzlys.....stupid list.....stupid rules......stupid Carlisle."

As soon as he was out of hearing range, Esme and I started laughing hysterically. "That was good, really good." I said as I gave her a high five.

She replied, "I know, wasn't it?" as she looked as if she would be crying tears of laughter if she could. Good times, good times.

APOV

Oh God, I was so MAD! This wasn't even funny! My beautiful clothes are ruined.

Suddenly I was sucked into a vision.

_Jasper and I are in the mall. Jasper looks weary and is holding so many bags you can barely see him._

_I am bouncing around, excited. "Ooh, let's go in there!" I say._

"_Alice, we've already been in every store in this mall at least twice" Jasper replies exhausted, "Can we at least go to some new stores?"_

"_But I need clothes to replace my clothes!! You should have thought about this before you destroyed my closet, huh?"_

"_For the last time, I did NOT destroy your clothes. How many times must I tell you that?" he cried._

Bwhahaha. This looks like fun. And I think that is the Mall of America. Victory will be mine!

Jasper may be my husband, but sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

EPOV

I ran into the forest to get away from the wrath of slightly deranged (okay, so maybe not so slightly) Alice.

Just then I crashed into Jasper. I guess I was a little preoccupied. Jasper had a good reason to not be paying attention to where he was going-

If I had a wife like Alice after me for destroying her closet, I would be praying to crash into a tree and die.

Jasper panted, "Is she here? Is she after me?"

I chuckled, "No, she's still at the house. But hey, buddy, now the pressure is off me and on _you._ Good luck with that."

He glared at me, "Yeah, but now she will kill me and bring me back to make me go shopping with her. What did I do in my previous life to deserve this? Why, God, WHY?!?!?"

Then he looked at me with a speculative look in his eye. "I can't do anything about shopping, but you will pay for destroying her closet in the first place and then letting them blame ME for it."

I backed away slowly. He took a step forward. Okay, this was creepy.

Then he lunged. I reacted instinctively, tackling him in midair. We wrestled around, with him pinning me to the ground and then suddenly our positions reversed. A human watching this would have seen almost nothing, we were moving so fast.

I finally got free of Jasper, but I could find no other option than to run away. Even with the advantage of reading his mind, I could not do more than hold him at bay; his military expertise was too great.

As I ran, he stood there watching me. He called, "This isn't over, Eddie. I would watch anything that is near and dear to you. Bella might just find herself kidnapped and locked up."

His words chilled me, and I ran toward the house to find Bella. She wasn't going to leave my sight until this was over.

**A/N: Okay, so what did you think? Good? Bad? I need feedback! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	15. This has been a loooong weekend!

**A/N: Sorry I've been so long in updating. I started a new story, it's called Kidnapped!. Read it and see what you think. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. I also don't own any copyrighted materials, like iPod.**

**P.S. No offense to anyone who has OCD or is bipolar, it just works well in the story. You guys rock!**

EPOV

I ran back to the house to find Bella. Jasper was hot on my trail, though. I ran through the door and straight upstairs to get Bella.

A commotion was right behind for me, for some reason, but I didn't stop to find out was happening. Bella was in my room, listening to my iPod. I picked her up in my arms, bridal-style, and went back downstairs.

Alice had Jasper cowering on the floor. She had her finger pointed at him and was screeching at him. Bella looked up at me with wide eyes, "What happened?"

I smiled down at her and replied, "Jasper chased me back to the house. But he didn't realize Alice was going to be waiting for him."

She chuckled. "I guess this is Emmett's and my doings. Oops- oh well. He'll be fine." She didn't seem too concerned for Jasper, for good reason. I wouldn't feel sorry for him either if he emotionally tortured me.

I looked up. By now Alice had Jasper tied to a chair and was smacking him repeatedly. This people are so _violent._ The weekend must be getting to them.

I looked back down at my Bella. She was fast asleep in my arms. The weekend must be getting to her too. Poor thing. I took her back up to my room and laid her gently on my bed. I closed and locked the door, (like that would do anything) and went back downstairs.

Jasper was still being held captive by Alice, so I wasn't too worried about him hurting Bella or me. I decided to play the piano for a while, to calm my nerves. The weekend was almost over, it was 5 p.m. on Sunday, and I was glad. This had been a long past 1 ½ days.

I sat down on the bench and brushed my fingers across the keys. Then I got situated and started to play.

Or attempted to play. When I tried to press the keys down, they wouldn't go. I suspected that even if I could depress them, they would not make a sound. When I pressed down on the pedals, one broke off.

WHAT THE HECK??!?!? Who defile my lovely, innocent piano? It will never work again!. I opened up the lid to check the strings. Sure enough, the strings were all cut.

How evil was this world? First my Volvo, then Bella, then my CDs, then my piano! How much more can I take? Don't answer that question.

That's it. I'm tired of my things being destroyed. I don't care if everything will be replaced. Those were my things, and they had to right to ruin them.

_But it's a prank weekend and you destroyed other people's stuff_ a voice in the back of my mind said.

I argued back._ Like what? And besides, those things deserved to be ruined. I was totally innocent._

_Oh really? Like Alice's closet and Rosalie's hair? Or Emmett's Jeep and Carlisle's books? What goes around, comes around my friend._

_Three words: Shut the hell up._

_That's four._

_Irrelevant._

_Sure you can be using that big of words? That's more than three syllables._

_Now THAT'S hitting below the belt._

_Never said I couldn't._

_It was an unwritten rule._

_Pssssh... yeah right. You made that up._

_So what if I did?_

_Irrelevant._

_Now you're using big words._

_Yeah, but I'm smart enough to._

_What!?!? We're the same person._

Gaah! Enough! First Jasper, and now me. This must be a mental disease, arguing with yourself. Can vampires have a mental disease? Probably.

After all, Jasper always claims I'm bipolar. And Emmett swears that I have OCD. But what does Emmett know? I mean come on. It's _Emmett_. That should tell you something right there.

I decided that even if only one person did this, they would all pay. For all I knew, Bella was involved, too.

APOV

Sometimes I hate my husband, I truly do. What would possess him to do something like that? What made me madder was that he was trying to use his gift to calm me down. Not happening, buddy.

Then I got another vision of us shopping. I was holding a really cute little purple dress with sequins on the straps and top and a bubble hem. It would be so cute to wear to a club! **(A/N: pic on profile!)**

I decided I was too anxious to go get that dress. I could be mad at Jasper later- right now there were more important things to do.

I untied him and pulled him out to the garage. I forced into my Porsches and we sped off toward the Seattle mall. This was too important to be ignored!

ESMPOV

After I got over my laughing fit, I snuck into Carlisle's and mine's bedroom. I went to the closet and pulled out some of his dress shirts.

Then I cut holes all over them- same with his dress pants. He did love his clothes. These ones particularly were imported from Europe.

I carefully replaced them into the closet where they were before. Carlisle would be so mad!

But now it was time for some preventive damage control. I walked into his office where he was typing on his computer.

"Hi honey, how are you?" I asked. He stopped typing and smiled at me. "I'm fine, how about you?" he replied, "Have the kids pranked you some more?"

I sighed. "No, but they are about ready to rip each other's heads off." Carlisle looked at his watch. "Well," he said, "Only 3 more hours and this whole thing will be off, thank god."

"Yes," I agreed, "This certainly has been a long weekend. Do you want to go on a vacation after this is all said and done?"

His answer was only a bright smile, and I took that as a yes.

**A/N: As I stated earlier, this story is almost done. I will probably write one more chapter and an epilogue. Was this good? Bad? Please review!**


	16. The end

**A/N: Yo, yo, yo! Sup, everyone? Here's my next chapter! Merry Christmas!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch.**

CPOV

I walked into my room to change into some comfier than my work clothes. I noticed the door to my closet was open. And I was pretty sure I closed it this morning.....

I went and opened the door, then gasped. Somebody had been in here and ruined my favorite shirts! The ones imported from Europe!

That's it. Enough is enough. I dug through one of my drawers until I found a whistle Esme sometimes uses when she refereeing our baseball games. I walked into the living room, quite calmly for someone whose favorite clothes had just been destroyed, took a deep breath, and blew loudly into the whistle.

_30 seconds later_

Ow ow ow. My ear. Ow. Ow. Ow. That whistle is rather shrill. But it seemed to get everyone's attention. Everybody was down here, standing at attention. I smiled wryly and said, "At ease." They all promptly crashed on the couch and the floor. What a family I have.

I began, "If you've checked the clock lately, it's only five minutes till midnight. That means our weekend is basically over."

"But" Emmett protested

"Nope" I said, "No buts about it. I know there's still five minutes left, and at vampire speed, that's like 5 hours. But this has gotten out of hand. Edward has gone completely off the deep end, Alice has already gone far over the $500,000 limit, and my BEST DRESS SHIRTS are completely ruined."

The only person who didn't seem sad that the pranking was over was Bella. Then again, she'd been emotionally tortured. She probably wasn't too sad. I continued, "We are going to start cleaning up and fixing and replacing things. Edward needs a new piano, Alice a new wardrobe, Jasper needs to paint over his ceiling, Emmett needs a new jeep, Rosalie needs to wash out her hair a few times, I need some new dress shirts, and that's only the beginning."

Edward piped in, "And don't forget, Bella needs some counseling."

Jasper rubbed his hands together and grinned, then said, "I can help with that. After all, I am an empath."

Bella cringed into Edward's side and started hyperventilating. Edward rubbed her shoulder soothingly, but I think Jasper had something to do with her fear and anxiety. In any case, he certainly wasn't helping the situation.

I growled, "Enough." Jasper immediately sent Bella calming waves and she sat up, fine again.

I suggested, "Why doesn't we go around the room and everybody can tell what they did to each other. I'll start."

I said, "I helped ruin Edward's piano." Nobody looked shocked.

Esme said, "I stole Jasper's Civil War stuff and made Emmett think couldn't drink from grizzlies anymore."

And this continued until everyone had confessed what they did. Of course, there was a couple wrestling matches and several very loud arguments, but nobody got seriously injured. Emmett almost ripped Edward's arm off after Edward told him he destroyed his jeep, but Edward will heal. Eventually.

Jasper almost got disowned from the family after he told us all what he did. But he cheated and used his gift to calm us down and make us feel and warm and fuzzy. So we let him stay for a while, emphasis on while.

I never realized Bella could be so evil. Ruining Alice's closet, Rosalie's hair, laughing while Emmett threw up the colors of the rainbow, etc. I am now not looking so forward to when she becomes a vampire. Because she'll be exactly like that, only with no conscience, just like Alice and Rosalie. May God help us all.

Esme and I decided to just take a nice cruise to the Caribbean. Of course, we had already been there several times, but it's always nice to go back and see what has changed. Esme even got online and bought tickets tonight. She wants to leave as bad as I do.

After about 15 minutes of talking and arguing, I suggested, "Why don't you all go relax for a while?"

Jasper and Emmett went to play video games, Alice and Rosalie decided to have some Bella Barbie time, and Edward went to listen to music in his room. Esme and I just sat on the couch, talking quietly with each other.

But not five minutes had passed before the ruckus had started again. Jasper yelled, "Emmett threw the Wii controller threw the screen, _again._ That's our fifth TV this month!"

Rosalie and Alice were yelling at Bella to sit still, and Bella was yelling at them right back to leave her alone.

And Edward was yelling at no one in particular, because it seemed someone had ruined his CD player and speakers and hadn't fessed up to it.

Esme and I looked at each and sighed. She said, "It never changes, does it?" I shook my head, then something occurred to me. "So," I asked, "Who destroyed my nicest dress shirts?"

Esme had an awfully innocent look on her face. Too innocent.

**A/N: Well, there you have it! I know it's short, but sometimes it's better to end it short than to drag it on. And there will be an epilogue, just so you know! Thanks to everybody who reviewed or put this on Story Alert or Favorite or something like that. You guys are the best! **


	17. She's finally cracked Epilogue

**A/N: Hey y'all! Thanks for waiting me to put the epilogue up! I want you to know that you guys are the BEST! You kept reading even when I didn't update for a week and a half, you put up with my abnormally short chapters, and I don't think I got one flame. This was my first fanfic and I really didn't know what I was doing. So thanks for that!**

**I am kind of sad that this story is ending- I really enjoyed writing it. But all good things must come to an end, and I didn't want to drag this out until it isn't interesting anymore, ya know? With this finished, I can concentrate more fully on _Kidnapped!_, which will be nice. And I am seriously considering writing a sequel to this, just so you all know. It probably won't be in a week, maybe a month or so. I'll see. =]**

**So thanks for everything. And a special thanks to BellaCullen33, who gave me the Skittles idea and the one you are going to be reading very shortly. Geez, I'm getting sentimental. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. But I do own that copy I got for Christmas. I also do not own anything that is copyrighted, like Volvos.**

BPOV

Finally, the weekend was over. I was so exhausted. Alice and Rosalie were trying to give me a makeover, but I talked them out of it by saying I needed to sleep and Edward would murder them if I fainted from exhaustion. They backed away fairly quickly after that.

Carlisle and Esme had gone on a cruise to the Caribbeans to have a little R&R after these stressful two days. Not that I blame them. A Caribbean cruise sounded pretty good to me right now, too.

After I had slept for 14 hours straight, Edward asked me if I would like to go out to eat in Port Angeles at a little Italian place. I thought it sounded good, so I went and got cleaned up. Tensions were running pretty high around here after all of our unwilling confessions. Alice and Rosalie would never speak to me again.

I changed into my favorite blue blouse, a denim skirt, and ballet flats, and we drove to Port Angeles in the Volvo. Of course, with Edward's maniac driving, it only took about 20 minutes.

We pulled into the parking lot of a charming Italian restaurant. It was a nice evening out, so we decided to sit in the beer garden. **(Is that what they are called? Cause that's what we call them)** The slight warm breeze ruffled my hair a bit as we sat down.

A waiter came and stared at me for a couple seconds before I snapped my fingers in front of his face. Edward was looking murderous, and I really didn't want to have to cover up a murder tonight. We ordered food (well, I ordered) and the waiter promised it would be out in a few minutes.

I excused myself to go to the restroom. I opened the door and stepped inside. It was very calm. Too calm. And somebody had left their makeup bag and curling iron in here. Wait, WHAT?!?!?!

The lock clicked behind me. I turned around slowly, afraid of what I would find. And sure enough, there was Alice, with her arms folded and an unnerving smile on her face. I stared at her in horror.

She gave a little giggle and said, "Come on, Bella. You don't really think I would allow you to leave the house looking like that? Hair uncurled and loose? No makeup? Plus it's time for a little sweet revenge for ruining my closet."

I gaped at her for a few moments before I tried to make a mad dash for the door. Of course, she stopped me before I even took a step and forced me into a chair I hadn't noticed was there before. I tried to yell for Edward, but she clapped a hand over my mouth before I could make a sound.

"Now, now"she laughed, looking slightly deranged, "None of that. It's just you, me and the curling irons." Help me, somebody. She's finally cracked.

**A/N: Well, there it is! How did you like the ending? Thanks for reading!**


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